3 Things I Learned Today (29th May, 2025)
On loneliness, starting things, building better relationships
1. On Loneliness
You’ve been treating your loneliness like hunger, thinking you need to consume more voices. More podcasts, more YouTube videos, more conversations where you nod along but never actually contribute. You’re drowning in other people’s thoughts while your own stay locked away.
But loneliness isn’t about input — it’s about output. It’s not about how much you take in, it’s about how much of yourself you let out. Every time you bite your tongue in a group chat, every time you think of something funny but don’t say it, every time you have an opinion but keep it to yourself, you’re feeding the very thing that’s eating you alive.
The cure isn’t more content. It’s more courage. The courage to say what you actually think. To share the weird thing that happened to you today. To admit when you don’t understand something. To laugh at your own jokes before anyone else does.
People aren’t waiting for you to be perfect or profound. They’re waiting for you to be real. Your half-formed thoughts are more interesting than your polished silence. Your messy truth is more magnetic than your careful performance.
You already know this Act on it.
2. On Starting Things
You don’t suck at things because you hate them. You hate them because you decided you’d suck at them before you even started. Your brain runs a quick simulation, sees you failing, and immediately labels it “not for me.”
That inner voice telling you “you’re not a runner” or “you’re not creative”? That’s not “self-awareness”. That’s just fear. Your brain is trying to protect you from the discomfort of being bad at something by convincing you that you don’t want it anyway.
Stop letting your inner monologue become your prison. Start something you’ll probably suck at. Because the only difference between the things you love and the things you avoid is that you gave one of them enough time to love you back.
3 On Building Better Relationships
You’ve been treating friendship like it’s supposed to happen to you instead of something you actively create. You wait for invitations that never come. You assume people are too busy for you. You convince yourself that reaching out first makes you needy or desperate.
Everyone is walking around feeling exactly the same way you are. They’re all waiting for someone else to make the first move. They’re all wondering if their friends actually like them. They’re all craving deeper connection but afraid to ask for it.
That text you keep drafting and deleting? Send it. That person you think about reaching out to but never do? Call them. That random question about their life that pops into your head? Ask it. You’re not being annoying if it comes from a place of curiosity.
Stop waiting for permission to care about people. Stop treating curiosity like an imposition. The people worth having in your life want to be known by you. They want you to ask about their weird hobbies and their random thoughts and how their week really went.
Friendship isn’t a passive sport. It’s not about waiting for the right moment or the perfect reason. It’s about showing up consistently with genuine interest in the humans you’ve chosen to love.
I am starting a private group where we journal together daily (starting from June 1). I am a huge advocate of writing to figure things out. And I’ll show exactly how by actually journaling with you.
It’s paid because free things don’t work. I’m capping the group to 20 because intimacy requires boundaries.
Join the group: https://harshdarji.com/
