5 Life-Changing Lessons I learned on Self-Care from Ava

Book bear — https://ava.substack.com/archive

Harsh Darji
3 min readJan 28, 2023

1. Run Your Own Race

The easiest way to win the race of your life is to focus on your own race. Set goals for yourself and focus on reaching them. When you reach them, you feel proud. When you don’t, push yourself to do better. Don’t measure yourself based on what other people are doing. Just focus on running your own race, and most importantly, at your own pace.

2. Embrace Your Sadness

Sadness can be overwhelming and all-consuming. But sometimes, these are the most important moments. In these moments, you find yourself being shaken loose from the grip of your despair, and you are gifted the opportunity to take a deep breath, watch the emotions pass through you, and be reminded of the true nature of things. It is these moments that can help you to find a new perspective and remember that you are never truly alone.

artwork by @xsullo on Instagram

3. Avoid Half-Heartedness

If you allow too much half-heartedness, it may be because you yourself are half-hearted. This could be due to anxiety and ambivalence, or a need for reassurance. It could also be due to boredom, or a lack of clarity about your own feelings and opinions. You may not have anything in your life that truly anchors you to yourself; you may lack conviction about what you love, so you’re looking for someone else to provide that certainty. So, you accept breadcrumbs from anyone who is willing to give them. But when your heart is full, everything you do will come from a place of love. You have an abundance of potential within you. Pay attention to it.

4. Be an Asker

Firstly, stop punishing yourself for expressing your needs. Many people are kind and will accommodate you, but some may not, and that’s okay too! If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. People who don’t ask for what they want often end up feeling resentful of themselves and the world. Directness is a gateway drug to emotional honesty. Give it a try.

5. Commit

Living in the “Infinite Browsing Culture” can give you an illusion of endless options for every choice you make, whether it’s the content you consume, romantic partners, jobs, side gigs, or creative projects. It’s easy to feel like you never want to commit to any one identity, place, or community. But when you take a step back and think about the things that you truly admire, respect, and remember, it’s usually not the institutions and people who come from the Culture of Open Options.

You keep swiping through potential partners, but when you come across a story online about an elderly couple celebrating their seventieth anniversary, you can’t help but be touched by their dedication and commitment to each other. In your own life, you may find yourself uprooting often, but you still find yourself lining up to get into those famous corner pizza joints and legendary diners that have been around for fifty years. It’s clear that, deep down, you appreciate and value the things that have stood the test of time and have proven their worth through commitment and consistency.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have committed to a personal challenge of writing 30 essays in 30 days, and this is my very first attempt. I hope to use this opportunity to explore the concept of self-improvement and share my findings with my readers. I am excited to embark on this journey, and I invite you to come along with me.

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Harsh Darji

Writer | On a mission to help you heal and expand your consciousness